Taking the high road after messing up

We all try to do our best on-the-job and to keep errors and poor judgment to a minimum. It’s not an introvert thing, or an extrovert thing…it’s just a thing. But somewhere along the line I think some of us let our egos get in the way, forget that we’re human and mistakes happen. Often, however, it’s not as much about the mistake itself, but more about how we handle it afterwards.

I think everyone at some point has tried to cover up, or at least downplay a mistake at work. Very early on in my professional career, I was guilty of this on occasion. I quickly learned three valuable lessons: 1. Your manager and colleagues will usually respect you more for admitting your error up front and accepting responsibility for it. 2. You won’t have to live with the stress or fear of having your mistake discovered. And 3. Your mistake will almost always be discovered. I know it can be difficult admitting a mistake, so I like to take the “ripping the band-aid off” approach: painful for a couple seconds, but then it’s behind us. Taking the high road almost always wins the day. When we don’t take the high road, it only compounds the problem.

I saw this play out the other night on TV. I was watching the US Open and saw Novak Djokovic being defaulted out of the tournament for hitting a tennis ball (between points), which struck a lineswoman square in the throat. The rules clearly state that this kind of behavior results in immediate disqualification. The primary concern of course is the health of the lineswoman, who after a few tense moments was able to leave the court on her own power. Djokovic initially ran over to check on her, but then it kind of went downhill from there and his concern moved onto himself. He pleaded his case with the tournament officials, essentially arguing that the situation didn’t warrant disqualification since she didn’t have to be sent to the hospital, as well as implying that since he’s Novak Djokovic (the number one-ranked men’s player in the world), he should be allowed to continue playing. (At least that was my interpretation). After the final decision was made, he left the court and the grounds, bypassing the mandatory post-match press conference that all players have to do, regardless. He later tweeted an apology and said he’s going to take this opportunity to examine himself and improve as a person, which, in light of everything, just seemed really disingenuous.

To me, he took the low road pretty much the whole way. The mere fact that he tried to argue any case at all vs. just automatically accepting the consequences of his actions is a bad look. And he did himself no favors in the eyes of fans and his fellow players. Taking the high road would probably have allowed him to move on from this much quicker, but now it will most follow him for quite awhile and further damage his image and reputation. Granted, I was no fan of Djokovic (either on or off the court) before this incident, and sadly this further confirms my own negative view of him.

So in the end, we all make mistakes. But, taking the high road, being genuine and accepting responsibility for the mistakes we make are key to moving forward and real growth no matter what profession we happen to be in!

The Power of Routine

After I was downsized from one of my past jobs, I discovered a very important thing: having a daily ritual really helped keep me grounded. I was now unemployed, at home, and suddenly with a lot of free time on my hands. It started with just a desire to get out of the house, heading to the local Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts every morning for some coffee, either hanging out there with my laptop for a bit, or taking it back home. As I continued doing this on a consistent basis, however, I realized the real and positive effect it was having on me, beyond the morning caffeine jolt, of course! I was re-establishing some semblance of a routine, restoring some degree of structure that I had had when I was working. It seemed kind of silly at first that it could be anything more than just grabbing coffee, but I soon realized there was something to this. Part of it might just have been the fact that I’m an introvert, and introverts in general tend to prefer knowing what to expect.

Whether an introvert or extrovert, however, being laid off can make us feel isolated and do a number on our self-esteem. If we have something to do, preferably something that will consistently get us out of the house for a bit, to look forward to and make us feel like we still have something to do on a day-to-day basis, that can definitely help improve our mental state.

These days, in the midst of a health pandemic, it can of course be more complicated and challenging as our options are a little more limited outside the house. But even if coffee shops don’t have in-house service, many are now offering grab-n-go, drive-thru, or socially-distanced outdoor seating. If coffee isn’t your thing, think of another (socially-distanced) activity that you will get you out of the house and honor your comfort level at the same time.

With all of this said, virtual events and “outings”, especially now, is an equally valid path to follow, and may turn out to be the more appealing option to some people anyway (especially for the introverts among us!) It may come down to just testing it out, striking the right balance and seeing what combination works best for each of us.

The Office of Tomorrow?

The open-office concept with densely-clustered cubicles was pretty common before the pandemic hit, but I think it’s safe to say that we’ll see a much different configuration if/when we return to the office. What that’ll actually look like is anyone’s guess, but it could look kind of like what’s pictured here:

This was a concept was created, pre-pandemic, resulting from the collaboration between Susan Cain, author of Quiet, and Steelcase, a workplace design firm. The goal was to create a workspace where introverts could thrive. The really interesting thing is that, if you take a close look, it could potentially address important health and safety issues that organizations will have to put in place. Notice the enclosed workspace, the 1-person lounge area with a glass partition separating socially-distanced desks (facing away from each other). Incidentally, all that natural light coming through is pretty nice bonus. I like working from home, but I have to say coming back to an office that resembles this might possibly tempt me. Might.

My “Phase 1”

In the past few weeks, local businesses and parks and other public spaces have been in various phases of reopening. On the surface, it’s encouraging because I think most people want to get back to some sense of normalcy, including me. On the other hand, some of the data, especially personal observation, don’t seem to support reopening just yet. We’re now seeing a spike in cases. Granted, part of this is probably due to the recent widespread protests, but another factor is what I perceive as the “I just don’t give a crap anymore – I want my life back” attitude, which I’ve seen not only online and on TV, but also in-person. I witnessed it just today in fact. In an ideal world, everyone would have at least a baseline of common sense and consideration for others, but sadly this isn’t reality. (Face masks are about protecting others, not ourselves).

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Timmy is helping me assess Phase 1. Data gathering is very important!

Because of this, my “Phase 1” will be according to my own schedule and comfort level with the situation, not a declaration made by DC government, nor anyone else. DC is apparently moving to “Phase 2” this week, but I’m not there yet.  And from what I’ve heard, it’s a very mixed bag – some local businesses are doing a great job in enforcing the guidelines and protocols, and others not so much. Human behavior, by the way, is also a mixed bag: The other day, I observed a woman (with two small children) with no mask and completely disregarding any sense of social distancing. On the flip side, just a few minutes prior to that, I saw a grandmother, with a mask on, visiting her grandchildren – she stood outside while the kids were inside the home. When I brought the car in today for servicing, there’s inconsistency from one minute to the next when it comes to wearing face masks, even though the car dealership requires it. Without enforcement, requirements are merely suggestions.

I feel like I’ve slowly but surely become more comfortable and less anxious over the past few months, despite witnessing  behavior that could be construed as indifferent, complacent, oblivious, inconsiderate, or some combination of all of these. I will say, however, that  crisis fatigue is a thing, and most likely also a factor with some people. I totally get it, and I definitely have a touch of it myself. (Doing some meditation is a big help by the way).

This pandemic can be a test in patience, but being patient, smart, methodical, not in denial, and considerate are going to be key. And this bears repeating: wearing a mask is about protecting our neighbors, not ourselves. With that said, it comes down to an individual’s comfort level. I’m going at my own pace, and I’ll get to Phase 1 (and Phase 2 & 3) when I get there.  And apparently, some local business owners feel the same way.

And finally, some satire on the subject, a reflection of where we are in the US right now.

The Introvert-Extrovert Dynamic: Quarantine Edition

As we approach July, which is month 5 of our quarantine lives, Joe and Stephen sit down with their extrovert significant others, Robbie and Sabrina.  We talk about how an extrovert’s quarantine experience has differed from that of an introvert, and we candidly discuss what it is like living at home 24/7 with someone who recharges in different ways than yourself.

Thank you to Robbie and Sabrina for taking the time to sit down with us share your experience.  We hope seeing someone else’s face for 45 minutes was refreshing!

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Life in Spain vs. the US: Quarantine Edition

I recently spoke with my friend, Leonid, who I know from DC, and who recently relocated to Sitges, Spain. Below are photos of his new hometown. If I didn’t like him, I’d hate him for living in such a beautiful locale! 🙂

Anyway, in this podcast we compare and contrast the quarantine situation between Spain and the US, and how we’re both handling it, not only on an individual level, but also from a national perspective.

In an upcoming podcast, we’ll be “traveling” to Germany to visit with friends to see how they’re doing in the face of the pandemic.

Momentum has never been as important as now

The protests that have recently ensued in the wake of George Floyd’s murder have been a source of hope and inspiration for me. It feels that this is sort of a tipping point, not only because of the global protests, but also because of the innumerable conversations now happening everywhere around racial injustice and inequality, and white privilege. This is especially significant since engaging in these kinds of topics is uncomfortable, often painful, but critical to confront nonetheless. As with so many things in life, maintaining momentum is key to positive change. The typical pattern with past tragedies has has been a determined effort to make change followed by political inaction. I often LA_protesttell myself after, for example, a school shooting, an incident of police brutality, or any other act of senseless violence, that surely this will be the thing that effects change. But I’m often left disappointed and disillusioned. One notable exception is the formation of Black Lives Matter as a result of the acquittal of Trayvon Martin’s murderer in 2013.

Of course time will tell, but this time it feels different. It feels like the momentum is there, and only getting stronger, to create meaningful and positive change. Peaceful protesting, continued conversations, education, many people speaking out, legislation – these are just a few of the key ingredients to help bring about a fairer and more equitable society. There are thankfully a ton of resources for people to access on the subject. Here’s but one to learn more. 

 

“Good enough” has never been truer than now

To quote Maya Angelou, “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” During the pandemic that we’re all trying to navigate, I’ve been seeing too many people on social media, including some career coaches, saying things like, “if you’re not learning a new skill, or taking an online course, or getting certified in this, that or the other, then you’ve been squandering this golden opportunity of “24/7 stay-at-home time”. Judgmental and short-sighted are a couple adjectives that immediately come to mind.

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Our dog, Timmy has “productively unproductive” down pat

I come from a different school of thought: it’s most important to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves and doing what we need to do to reach that goal? If that includes taking an online course or learning a new skill, great, but if not, equally great. Everyone is on his or her own journey and dealing with the challenges that come with it. Add an extra layer of a global pandemic and the stresses that come with that. There’s no one-size-fits-all advice that can be applied in this situation, and no shame in not conforming to some other person’s definition of being productive.

 And here are 10 more things I don’t need to do, although there are a couple things on the list that I did do, because I wanted to, for me. Some days I want to turn over my to-do list and just focus on the fun stuff totally unrelated to my professional development. I call it being “productively unproductive”. I find that those days are just as important, self-nurturing, and good enough! The bottom line is that happiness and growth mean different things to different people, and the key is to find what works best for you.

Interestingly, the idea of doing nothing has made its way to the University of Fine Arts in Hamburg, Germany, where they have recently created the “Scholarships for Doing Nothing” that will be awarded to three students this September. Now that’s different!

Building relationships and social distancing: LinkedIn to the rescue

As introverts, I think most of us have always leaned on LinkedIn as our go-to networking approach, but now that we’re in the midst of social distancing and self-quarantining, and relying even more on getting things done remotely, it’s more important then ever to be active on LinkedIn. Personally speaking, (and I would guess for many other introverts), this is no real shock to the system as LinkedIn was, and is my primary source for building professional relationships.

Having a profile on LinkedIn is a great start. But it’s just that – a start. Now what? The first step of course is to make sure your profile is complete and current, including a photo (usually professional dress). Also, don’t overlook or underestimate the “About” section: this is a great opportunity to highlight in a concise way relevant work experience, education, skills and accomplishments – in other words, how you can contribute to the success of an employer or solve problems for a client in your target industry. Keep in mind that employers often use your profile as a basis for hiring decisions.

OK, moving on. What’s next, now that you have an awesome profile? Ask for a few recommendations from former supervisors and co-workers, as well as past and present professors, for example – really anyone who can attest to your skills, qualifications, work style, etc. is a potential recommendation for you. But remember we’re still networking here, so it’s important to be willing to reciprocate and offer to write a recommendation for those same individuals when appropriate.SocialDistance

You’re making progress: got your profile up, with a couple recommendations. What now? Get active. Join some of the groups related to your target industry, or perhaps your school’s alumni group. for starters. And now that you’ve joined, what’s the next step? See who the group members are with whom you can potentially connect. Participate in the discussion forums by posting relevant articles and commenting on other members’ posts. This is a great way to increase your overall visibility on LinkedIn.

What else? LinkedIn can be a valuable tool when it comes to informational interviews. How does this work? Do a search on an organization you’re interested in, and LinkedIn will show you which of your connections have some sort of association with that organization. Requesting informational interviews from 1st degree connections is usually straightforward, but with 2nd degree connections, try to get an introduction from one of your mutual contacts if possible. As many of us are now seeing in the world of social distancing and mandated work-from-home, online meetings can be just as productive and fruitful as in-person ones, and this is true for informational interviews too.

So this is just a small taste of what you can do with LinkedIn, but hopefully this will get you moving in the right direction if you’ve been wondering about some positive next steps to take with your networking strategy. Final thought: LinkedIn is a very effective tool, but use it as just one of several approaches, especially when we return to “business as usual”. For now, however, I would recommend making it your primary source.

Podcast: Navigating the workplace as an introvert, Part II

In Part II of our “Introverts in The Workplace” podcast series, Stephen & I continue the conversation on topics including: the job search for young professionals, workplace collaboration issues, presentations/public speaking, career fairs, and professional events and social engagements.

Note: When we created this podcast , pre-Covid19, the world of work looked considerably different than it does now. In our next podcast, we’ll discuss how things have changed for each of us personally and the challenges we’re facing, as well uncover the bright side and how we can all make the best of our current circumstances. Oh, and we’ll have a couple special extroverted guests to join the conversation!

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